Parents for Fucking Lies

Oh for fuck's sake, just stop with the goddamn lies already! These freaks at the National Abstinence Education Association can't write half a sentence without lighting their pants on fire. Look at this shit! (Via.)

Abstinence education empowers teens

Empowers teens? Since when does anyone need to be empowered to not have sex? Most teens have spent their whole lives not having sex! It's not like it takes any kind of effort or skill to not have sex. I'm not having sex right now. I've been not having sex all damn day! Look, everyone, I can blog and not have sex at the same time! Who the hell do these nuts think they're kidding, here?

...to avoid risk by making good health decisions,

Decisions? As in, plural? Abstinence is plural now? Abstinenceses?

Abstinence education, as funded by Congress, is decidedly more inclusive than “just say no”.

And how! Just LOOK at these requirements! These classes don't just teach about the benefits of abstinence. They also have to teach that abstinence is the expected standard; that abstinence is the only way to avoid pregnancy and disease; that abstinence until heterosexual marriage is the expected standard; that not abstaining is bad for you; that not abstaining is bad for everyone in the whole world; how to reject sex; and why abstinence until "self-sufficiency" is important. See? Way more inclusive than just abstinence!

Abstinence education is in fact broader and more holistic than other approaches and focuses on the real-life struggles that teens face as they navigate through the difficult adolescent years.

Real-life struggles! Like how to keep your sticky tape sticky and your chewing gum un-chewed!

Abstinence education realizes that “having sex” can potentially affect a lot more than the sex organs of teens, but as research shows, can also have emotional, psychological, social, economic and educational consequences. That’s why topics frequently discussed in an abstinence education class include:

* Information about contraceptives and their effectiveness against pregnancy and STDs

Oh yes, helpful "information" like "condoms don't work" and "they're a hassle" and "sluts use them!"

There are vast differences between abstinence education and CSE. The major distinction is how each approach regards teens. Abstinence education believes teens can and increasingly do, avoid sex, so the discussion empowers them to make the healthiest sexual decision – which is to abstain. By contrast, CSE assumes that teens don’t have the ability to avoid sexual experimentation, so most of their time is spent talking about sex and the use of condoms and other forms of contraception. Comprehensive Sex Education assumes that teens will engage in high risk sexual behavior and are content to merely reduce the risk of that behavior.

See, abstinence-only proponents understand that teens don't have sex because they want to have sex; they only do it because they don't know how to stop! So it's not a matter of convincing teens to be abstinent. They all WANT to be abstinent; they just don't know how! So all we have to do is teach them how, and obviously they all will! I mean, it's not like teenagers get horny or anything. Teenagers: they're like kindergarteners, just taller!